Not wanted

Lindsey grabbed at the front of Angel’s jacket, feeling the breath forced out of him in a soft grunt as he was forced backwards down onto the desk. Amazing. He came here to find out how the Darla campaign was working, spread a little chaos into the life of their very favorite vampire toy, and for some reason, he was suddenly lying on his back with one of Cordelia’s pens digging into his spine. Angel very forcefully and very there between his legs, one large hand wrapped around his throat and the other one pinning a wrist to the table. Brown eyes all angry and confused and just about all Lindsey could think was ‘oh fuck’ over and over again. Cringed inwardly as Angel lowered his head close to his neck and writhed again in panicked reaction, free hand raking across the vampire’s wrist with his short nails. Because sweet Jesus oh FUCK, there was a vampire sniffing at his neck, a male, very aggressive vampire who hated his guts and oh, sweet Lord –

Wasn’t actually doing anything then sniffing his skin.

Confusing as all fuck. What the hell was he doing? Just who did he think he was?

Lindsey wasn’t aware he’d said that out loud until Angel chuckled, breath suddenly moving across his skin where it hadn’t been before. Vampires. Lindsey breathed in, watching Angel’s face as the vampire drew back, mouth grinning around white fangs and eyes gleaming gold. Vamped out and threatening, a monster that walked around inside a human skin. The lawyer waited, not moving. There wasn’t anything he could do, except hope that enough of Angel’s soul and ethics remained that he wouldn’t kill him.

He was a stupid, stupid fuck for coming out here.

“I can hear your heartbeat, Lindsey.” One hand slid down from his throat, fingers splaying over the place where his heart was, and Lindsey had a suddenly terrifying vision of Angel just reaching inside his chest, ripping past muscle and bone. “I can hear your pulse.” And that grinning mouth was lowered once again, and inside his head Lindsey gibbered a little as Angel almost mouthed the spot right over his pulse on his neck. Favorite feeding spot of all vampires everywhere. “I really just wanna bite down here, Linds, I have ta tell ya.”

“From my point of view, that wouldn’t be a good thing,” Lindsey said dryly, and he was amazed to hear his voice so calm. Not shaking. Inside he might be having hysterics, but the only way that Angel would know was from the beat of his heart, the terror running through his sweat.

“So what would be a good thing, Lindsey?” Angel murmured, fangs scraping delicately over the thin skin that just covered the jugular. Lips whispering across his skin, almost a parody of a lover’s caress but so close that it was hard to tell. If Angel hadn’t been Angel, and he hadn’t been what he was, maybe this would already have been going a different way. As it was, he was certain that his only worth to Angel at the moment was the life in his blood. How long had it been since the souled vampire had drunk human blood, fresh and hot from the vein?

The Partners, Lindsey reflected crazily, would have been pleased. Nothing better to bring a champion crashing down then to make him kill somebody who wasn’t pure evil. Which he wasn’t, Lindsey knew. Sure, he was a lawyer and general bastard, and he worked for one of the most evil corporations on the face of the planet. But he wasn’t...evil. Just bad. Was that enough to let Angel get away with it in his head? But no, Angel didn’t hurt humans. Often. Mostly just demons, and sometimes magic users. Maybe if he repeated it often enough to himself, he’d believe it.

“You’re frightened of me, Lindsey.”

“You’re a huge fucking vampire, Angel,” he felt like he had to remind him. Just of the way things worked. Human, vampire. Prey, predator. That was just the way it worked. What the Partners wanted back in him. “And you’re chewing on my neck.”

“Not chewing.” Almost sulky there. Aw, did he hurt the widdle wampire’s feelings? “Just...I’m remembering things lately.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lindsey’s hands pushed at Angel’s shoulders almost instinctively as the vampire’s hands suddenly cupped his ass, pulling him and up against the bigger man’s crotch. This hadn’t been covered in the briefings on Angel’s character!

Although, there had been William the Bloody. Another little dangerous maverick to Angelus’ little family. The whore mother, the beautiful monster, the insane seer and the sadistic poet. All together. While any relationship between Spike and Angelus hadn’t been documented, that didn’t mean it had hadn’t happened.

“Remembering all kinds of things.”

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Lindsey hissed at Angel, trying to push him off and feeling all too human. Too weak. Jesus Christ. The point of joining Wolfram and Hart had been so that he would never have to feel like this again. So lost. And out of control. Angel’s mouth was back on his neck, strong fingers kneading along the small of his back and down along his ass. Oh, and did he forget to mention that Angel was hard? Very much so? Yeah, strange how he didn’t really want to think about that too much. “Get off me, Angel!” Pushed and struggled, completely losing it for a moment.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” A broad hand grabbed his hands by the wrist, slamming them down onto the desk above his head as Lindsey gasped for breath. That pen was still digging into his spine, and his business shirt was half pulled out of his pants, jacket definitely wrinkled. He was going to end paying a fortune to the drycleaners. Knowing his luck, that pen was probably leaking ink onto his Armani right now. “Didn’t you want to see what would happen if I was just a little bit more like Angelus?” Growl in his ear, hitting every button marked Primal Fear on the way into his brain. “Didn’t you want this?”

“Get –“

“Off you, I know.” Angel’s hips ground against his, causing all sorts of friction that was far too interesting to his idiot dick and Lindsey yelped in protest. The dirty shit eating grin that he saw on the vampire’s face was in no way diminished by the ridges and glowing golden eyes. In fact, that made it worse. “You sure now, boyo?”

“Ungh, God!” Lindsey groaned, traitorous body already reacting as he closed his eyes and bit his lip. Felt Angel chuckle against the smooth skin of his throat before a cold mouth was on his, fangs pressing against the outside of his lips and tongue determinedly forcing its way inside. As if the vampire thought he could devour Lindsey by kissing him, swallow him whole. Just eat him alive. Well, as the axiom went...when rape was inevitable, just lie back and try to enjoy it. “I hate you.”

“So?” Angel’s hands were at his belt buckle, loosening the strap and opening the fly of his pants before long fingers crawled inside and rubbed firmly over the silk covered mound of his erection. “You don’t need to love someone to fuck them. You don’t even need to like them.” Chuckled at the sound of Lindsey’s rasping moan, and he knew he had to be leaking by now. Gonna ruin that pair of silk boxers, damn it. Precome just never came out, and silk stained so easily. A tug down, and both boxers and pants were down around his ankles, and he kicked them off one foot, disentangling himself. It seemed to make sense at the time, at least that’s what he’d tell himself later. Angel was leaning over him again, reaching behind to the drawers of the desk and dragging one open with his fingertips.

Lindsey felt crushed underneath the weight of his body, gasping for breath and feeling the material of the vampire’s trousers rasp up along the inside of his thighs and against his erection. Writhed, somewhat in protest at the harshness of the fabric against his cock and whimpered at the feel of it. “Jesus fuck!” Low chuckle rasping down through his ears and along the rollercoaster of his backbone, crawling deep into his stomach and making itself at home in fear and arousal. He could die, Angel might decide to just give this up now. “What the hell is that?” he asked suspiciously as Angel flipped open the lid of the tube of whatever it was he’d dragged out of the drawer of Cordelia’s desk.

The vampire made a show of studying and reading the label, and Lindsey bared his teeth at him.

“Says it’s all natural hand lotion. With aloe vera extracts.” White squiggle on his broad fingers, and Lindsey arched his back as Angel just pushed one in there, hissing through his teeth in discomfort. God damn it, that was cold. Cold fingers, cold gel, and he was hoping Angel didn’t decide to get a bit of blood to make himself warm. Fuck, no, he didn’t need that as well. “It should work just fine.”

“Shit!”

All that he got was an extra bit of an edge to the smile that Angel was sporting, and an extra finger. Hurt, in a way that went straight to his cock. Stretchy ache in his ass as the fingers twisted apart, scissoring and then crooking inwards. Lindsey arched his back and cried out, writhing as they rubbed his prostate and sent jagged bolts of electricity zinging along his spine.

“What do you think your colleagues would say if they could see you now? Getting fucked by me?” Angel murmured into the lawyer’s ear, moving his fingers in and out slowly. Lindsey closed his eyes, blocked what he was saying out and concentrated on the feeling, the way the need to come was growing. If he just ignored Angel, the vampire became just another cock, another nameless body of which there was a pretty long parade, male and female that had drifted into his bed. Hard hand in his hair brought him back, as Angel almost pulled out some of it by the roots. “You’re not going to block me out, Linds. Oh no. You’re gonna be here when I fuck you.”

“Angel...” And he could feel the smirk drawing up the corners of his mouth, challenging even as three fingers sawed in and out of him harshly. “You talk too much.” He never could keep his mouth shut when he should. The slap that slammed his head back into the desk was almost worth it, the kiss that followed immediately after sucking and desperate to get every taste of blood from his split lip as Angel’s cockhead nudged at his stretched hole before he thrust inside. Tried to scream, couldn’t catch his breath to do so, raked his nails down Angel’s back instead to make a protest at how he was being used. Futile as that was. Silk under his fingertips, since Angel just as much as Angelus liked his little creature comforts.

“You know, when I’m around you, I can smell you,” Angel growled next to Lindsey’s ear, mouth turned into his neck as his hips slammed into him again and again. One hand digging into the curve of his hip, holding him in place so he didn’t move across the desk. The way Lindsey had curved his legs around Angel’s waist made it doubtful that he would, even considering the strength of the vampire’s thrust. “Male. Musky. Begging for someone to take you in hand.” Slow deliberate roll of his hips that made Lindsey’s eyes roll back in his head. “But you’re not worth keeping.”

Cold, cold inside him and cold words. Lindsey tried to ignore what Angel was saying. Not worth keeping. Not wanted. He was never either of those things, not precious and unique enough not to have to fight to keep his place. Even if it was some place he didn’t want, and hadn’t asked for. Like this here and now. Wolfram and Hart had headhunted him direct out of college, but they couldn’t care less about him other then that. Once he was theirs, he had to earn his place every day. Every moment. And fight and claw his way up the food chain, like he had in college, like he had every moment of his life. Just once, he would like the chance to rest. And be safe. He never found one.

Sudden pain in his neck and Lindsey screamed, feeling vampiric fangs sink in and tear, relentless move and thrust of the cock in his body. Warm, suddenly, on his skin and down traveling to his stomach on silken red threads. Couldn’t tell if it was pleasure or pain, the pulling, the tugging from the mouth feeding at his throat to his cock, too much to bear whichever one it was. He came, jerking spasmodically in the throes of orgasm and clutching at the one who was hurting him, swearing at him in a blue streak. Felt the still cold spunk of the vampire inside him and shuddered slightly, making small noises of pain as Angel stopped feeding from his neck and withdrew totally. Leaving him a mess of blood and come on the desk, gasping for breath and feeling dirty inside and out.

Sitting up, he pushed his shaky hands through his hair. Like he had asked for this. Even hinted at wanting it, ever. No matter what Angel said about the way he smelled, for Christ’s sake. Aching and empty, hollow through his middle as he started trying to put himself to rights. At least enough to drive home. Angel, he noted sourly, seemed to be basically back to normal already.

Pulled himself off the desk, and tugged his pants back up so they were around his waist. Zipped and buttoned himself up, heading doggedly for the door and stepping past Angel on the way, giving him as wide a berth as the room allowed. Get out, get to a shower. Scrub until he bled, to get the feel of the vampire off his skin. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get it out of his mind.

Angel smiled. And let him go.

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